Pandemic Postpartum
The pandemic has been full of frustration, and loss for so many of us. We are all collectively grieving over the lives that have been lost, the vacations or special events cancelled, and our general sense of normalcy being taken away.
For parents in the postpartum period, many of these feelings are only magnified. The time of postpartum can, even in the best of circumstances, be isolating, painful, and filled with the grief of the lives that will be forever changed by this little being. On average, 10-20% of new mothers will experience postpartum anxiety or depression, and this is without the crushing new reality of a pandemic.
Many new parents are in the position of having to go back to work only a few weeks postpartum and having the risk of COVID-19 entering their homes. Many do not have the option for family help or professional help, and if the option is available, it currently feels like a life or death decision.
The good news, the small silver lining of this time, is that there are things you can do to ease the burdens and difficulties of this incredibly challenging time.
Practice Self-Compassion
Dr. Kristin Neff, a professor and researcher at The University of Texas at Austin, has researched the amazing benefits of self-compassion.
Self compassion, according to Kristin Neff, is “acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?”
How would you speak to a friend during this difficult time? How would you help to soothe and comfort them?
Dr. Kristin Neff’s website has many great resources for how to access self compassion within yourself.
Find Your Support & Take Advantage
Even though the support systems may not look how we thought they would in this difficult time, there are still ways we can find help.
A good place to start may be to think about your most basic needs while taking care of a baby: food, sleep, and help with the baby so you can have a brief break.
Food can be an easy way that your community can help to support you right now. You could as a friend to create a meal train where friends and family members can drop off food on your doorstep, or have a friend drop off needed groceries on your doorstep.
During the first few months, sleep will probably feel like the most precious resource there is. It may be helpful to make a plan with your partner to take shifts during the night so that you each get a block of uninterrupted sleep. You may even have one of you sleep in the baby’s room, so you are not awaken by the babies cries in the middle of the night.
Another huge need during those early days is time to have a brief break from baby. It may be helpful to set a goal each day of getting 15 or 20 minutes to yourself, either while your baby is napping or while your partner is helping to care for them. You could use this time to do something soothing and kind for yourself- take a bath, read a book, take a short nap, or watch a TV show that is enjoyable!
Mindfulness & Physical Movement
Physical movement is often easily accessible during this and can make a big difference in mood.
In the early days with my twins, I found so much joy in being able to step outside and take them for a walk. I would listen to a podcast or just listen to music. It really helped to calm my feelings of isolation. Physical movement has also been show in many studies to reduce the symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety.
Ask For Help
Lastly, sometimes there is a need for professional assistance. There are many free resources online to help you find psychiatrists and therapists that specialize in working with individuals who are experiencing postpartum mood disorders, or those who want a bit more support in their transition into parenthood.
It is brave to ask for help, and there are many safe and affordable options for telehealth therapy and psychiatry. If you are feeling overwhelmed with finding providers, talk with your Gynecologist or general practitioner about what resources they may be familiar with.
Here are some great resources:
Postpartum Support International- Great resource for finding educational materials related to postpartum mood disorders, postpartum hotline for finding local resources, and online postpartum support groups.
Psychology Today- This resource can help you find psychiatrists or therapists that are local to your area and/or potentially take your insurance.
Pregnancy and Postpartum Alliance of Texas- Local resources for postpartum in Texas
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) - If you, or your loved one, feel like hurting yourself or others, please call 911, go to the nearest emergency room or call the number above to seek immediate assistance. Help is available.
If you are struggling in the transition into new parenthood, or would like some additional support during this time, I would love to work with you. Please feel free to reach out.